Can proprietary traders laugh at themselves? It's a great skill in life, but if you've been on top of the world for a long time, it may be harder. Bloomberg aims to make people laugh, though some might cry, with its take on prop traders' job prospects.
"Teams of traders fired by big banks are now setting up dozens of hedge funds. But hold on," writes a columnist. "Surely the one thing you learned during all those years on the trading desk is that there is no money to be made by following the herd ... Who wants to be the 13th former Mega-Bank derivatives trading team knocking on the doors of pension-fund managers hustling for a few million to be invested in your new high- frequency yak-hide futures fund?," he asks.
He suggests prop traders switch careers. "After all, there must be plenty of industries in need of self-glorifying, hyper-competitive young men and women with micro-second attention spans." Here are some of his top choices:
Divorce lawyer--"Remember all those hedge-fund wives you never quite got around to talking to at those charity evenings with your clients?" he asks. "At least half of them will be divorcing their husbands in the next five years. Retrain and become their lawyer."
Piracy negotiator--"Talk pirates into taking a bunch of Hungarian bonds instead of cash. Then send some mercenaries in to get rid of them," he suggests.
For more:
- here's the column
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